The war in my mind

"I found that I wake up at night to watch sissy hypnosis. I think I'm addicted and more than I look, the more I become a real cumslut. Everywhere I look, I see guys and I secretly beg to get ass pounded".

Started to deal with my sissy around 16-17. At this time I didn't know anything about trans.. for me you were a travesti or cut the weewee and become transexuel. I was dreaming about a cock to pound my ass but men were not pleasing me. I fought many years against my cock attraction but men still not, only the cock... Then, I found some shemales dvds my bros had in his room.. the sissy woke up for real. Before that, I experienced sex with guys via orgies and swigner parties... My exwife has put a finger in my ass to test how open minded I was. she wasn't expecting I would turn into a real slut and started to suck the dildo. She was mad, saying she's not sure if she likes the image printed in her memory. I was thinking I'm a bi sexual vesatil bottom. We are in 2007-2008. 2 years later I started to watch regulary, shemales porn and coming to get horny with men, in fact its all about the cock. He is only a cock holder. 2010, I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian in a man body.. total crap. Now I'm adding big cock, monster cock, huge cock in any search I do hetero, trans or gay video. Last years I started looking in Craiglist and found some TS/CD OMG, Crossdressing turns me on so bad.. I know I'm closer of meet the sissy. In the year 2014 late august/early september I clicked on a sissy hypnosis.. Damn pictures with text on it... after skipping a good 20-25, I was reading and noticed that all the text on hypnopictures are exaclty how I feel and who I am, who I was the last 25 years but never accpeted this true fact.
On the Saturday September thirteenth, I went to a sexshop to buy stockers and panty, then a gay sex shop in village to buy toys. Now, the sissy is confortably installed in the commander seat. I don't know when she will say its enought and getting outside as Maryjane Fox.