So I have been struggling with who I am ever since I could remember. I guess the main point I'm trying to make is I was born a boy, but have always had the urge to be a girl. For years I have battled this and the growing hunger of letting this inner woman come out. As I have progressed through the years I have started to let her out, prancing around in a pair of panties when I was alone, pretending to be a housewife cleaning everything waiting for my man to get home. Dreaming of our wedding day and how special it would be. The more I suppress these feelings, the urge grows stronger.
These feelings started when I was very young, seeing my Aunt and Uncle together, and how they were. My Uncle would say, "Woman! Coffee!" and she would immediately move and get it for him. He would always impose his will on her and she seemed not to mind at all, as if she not only accepted it, but wanted, and enjoyed it. I can only imagine moments when they were alone and she would have to get down and suck his dick while he sat in his recliner and watched a football game. I wanted her life, to be like her, giving her man everything she could to make him happy. Like a good woman and a good wife is supposed to.
The first time I found myself on my knees staring at a dick was in college, my roommate's actually. I don't quite remember how I came to be on my knees that night, and it only happened once with him. When I took his dick into my mouth, my first taste of a man, it was so natural as if I had done it before. All I wanted to do was give him pleasure and make him cum. After about 10 mins of blowing him, that's exactly what he did. I'm proud to say that my first blowjob ended with me swallowing his whole load. But afterwards I felt so sick, I even threw up later trying to get what I had done out of my head. I wanted nothing to do with that ever again, and for a little while this was the case. But that urge built over time and it came back stronger.
I found that I could not deny the fact that I legitimately enjoyed sucking dick.
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